Tag Archive | society

Can I call you mom?

I have spent years trying so hard to make a difference in people’s lives, and as I look back on the memories of my life and the things that I have done, I realize I have. Sometimes through my work, sometimes in a much deeper and more personal way. I don’t know why some people connected with me on deeper levels while others stayed just a memory…what I do know is that God has given me a gift. A truly wonderful gift. And while there are some, even those closest to me, who might question my choices, even my choice of a career, I’ve never for a second doubted myself or my abilities to touch the lives of those around me.

Today I got to hear a story. A story that no one else has heard the entire truth of. I ask myself often when people confide in me…why me? Sometimes people say it’s because I listen, other times because I understand more than most people. Sometimes it’s because I’m easy to talk to. Ultimately I know it’s because God gave me a talent to nurture. I’ve been a nurturer my entire life, and I never knew what to make of it because it is a gift and a curse, one that allowed others to heal, yet usually left me hurt when the baby birds were healed and flew away.

I have a daughter. One daughter. And I’ve always lamented over the fact that I wanted more children. A son in particular. It’s come the time now that my daughter is taking a slight interest in boys, and the boy who likes her right now texts me and talks to me and I don’t mind a bit. I like to get to know the people that my daughter is befriending…but my heart just did a million and one flips when he asked if he could call me mom.

And I realized that I remember why I love to help other people so much. There are so many people in this world with good parents and without who just ache for good influences in their lives. They try so hard not to follow the negativity and somehow this world has taken a perspective that children are to be seen and not heard. Children are stifled in this world by parents that are overly strict and always telling them to sit down and shut up. It’s a joke I’ve made often…I spent the first year of her life begging her to speak and the past twelve begging her to be quiet…and that is an untruth, I love speaking to and listening to Cheyenne talk, but that is not true of all parents.

We as parents spend so much time being “shocked” by our kids behavior and trying to find new ways of making them behave that we have forgotten we were once young too. And that maybe….just maybe if our own parents had listened to us, yes taught us respect, discipline and responsibility and every other thing you want and need to teach your child, but really listened….and taken some time to remember that you were there once too….maybe we would actually save our kids from the evils that they dabble in trying to get our attention.

And that is just my two cents…It may not be a popular view but it’s mine and I’m proud to be someone that can be there for others, and can be a “mom” to more than just my own kid. After all I’ve been raising people since I still needed raising myself, and I hope I don’t ever have to stop.


A word or two from our sponsor…

Every day, I talk to Cortez, the man whom I represent by writing this blog, and I am so excited to be able to tell him tomorrow that I got this started. Why a blog? There are so many misconceptions out there about what prison is, who inmates are and how and why they got where they are.

I have been on all sides of the system. I have been an intern, an employee, I’ve been in the shoes of a corrections officer doing straight security and I’ve done counseling…much more counseling. And then the script got flipped and I became the loved one of someone who was behind the walls….then it was a couple of people, and now I have quite a few people behind the walls that I love very dearly.

What we hope that you will take away from my writings is first, having gotten know someone you wouldn’t have otherwise. Second you will learn something about the prison system that will perhaps open your mind and your heart to what those who are incarcerated need the most, a second chance, even if that just means having people in this world that believe in them.

I was told very early on in this journey that I would run into two types of people…those who were interested in really interested in changing their lives and those who would come ou just a smarter criminal. Their is a difference and you can tell. Those who have spent the time improving their lives and trying to make a difference  so they will never have to go back again.

We as a society need to make that possible for them, not lump everyone into one category and make assumptions about who people are and what they could and might do in the future.

The truth of the matter is…we are all capable of making mistakes. Do you want to be persecuted for the rest of your life for yours? Prison IS the punishment. Once released the debt to society is paid, and we owe people a chance to get back on their feet, otherwise recidivism is our own fault.